Banana oat chocolate chip treats

Okay y'all. I love these little treats, I make sure I have some made at all times to satisfy my sweet tooth.  Insanely easy to make, healthy(to my standards), and delicious. I have seen many recipes similar to this floating around on Pinterest, this is my version. Treats are pictured here with leftover brownies and cheap white wine, I highly recommend this trio.

What you'll need:
2 very ripe bananas
1 cup oats
2 tbsp peanut butter
1/3 cup chocolate chips

Take the two bananas, mash them well, add the oats, then the peanut butter and chocolate chips. The exact amount of peanut butter and chips depends on my mood, use your own judgment. Scoop onto a baking pan, I recommend using a cookie dough scoop, it is very sticky. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool, enjoy!

Some variations I have seen for this recipe:
Applesauce for peanut butter
Berries for chocolate chips
Add baking powder, milk and eggs for cupcake consistency

Cooking or making?

Anyone who knows me can tell you I love to eat. Foodie to the max, but never cared for the cooking. Okay lets be honest, I just don't know how to cook. Like, at all. But, for whatever reason I have had this odd desire to cook (make) food... almost everyday. (I think I'm just really tired of cereal and ramen) But, I'm really enjoying it, surprisingly. I haven't royally screwed up yet, and most of the things I've tried so far have been pretty darn good. That being said, by no means, would I say I'm a cook. I still feel like I'm just making food, but not cooking. In my mind there's a big difference. Let me explain.

Earlier this week I was talking to *Hezzie Mae, who is an outstanding cook, and she said "You're becoming a cook!". I told her no no, I'm not cooking, I'm just making food. In my opinion, putting things in a crockpot, making casseroles, etc is not cooking. You're just following directions, putting things together, and voila there's food..you "made" food. She disagreed. "If you're using the stove you are cooking."

So whether I am cooking/making food is up for debate at this point. I'm already getting a little more comfortable in the kitchen... Today I didn't follow a recipe and just used spices as I pleased, and my dish turned out really well. Granted it was a simple casserole, but I felt like I was "cooking", adding a little of this and a little of that. It was, dare I say, fun!

I am curious to know, when does one feel like a real cook? What does everyone else think about cooking versus making food?

I'm going to be uploading the recipes I've been making over the next few days. If any of you try them or have a similar recipe with your own twist, please share!

*Hezzie Mae is my loving and sweet grandmother, she wanted that to be known.

On a serious note

I would like to open up, clear the air, let go of some bad energy.  With the encouragement of those closest to me, I decided to write this, in hopes that this lingering negativity I have can be released. There is a good chance no one will read this, and that's okay. There is no targeted audience. Just a reflection of some recent life lessons. I am a private person, almost to an extreme, and doing this puts me way out of my comfort zone, that is a good thing.

Disclaimer:
I am far from perfect. I make mistakes like everyone else. I don't always make the best choices. I am a huge work in progress with a ways to go. But, I'm not a monster. My intentions are good. I'm making my way and doing the best that I can, just like everyone else.

Ending a relationship, starting over from square one, being at the lowest of lows, is the worst. It doesn't matter if you happen to be the one ending the relationship, and it's what you want, and it's the right thing. Still the worst. Telling someone you don't want to share your future with them is terrible, hurting someone you care about, hurts a lot. Realizing you have not been honest with yourself, that sobering moment when it all makes sense and you realize you have gone the wrong direction. Terrifying. It feels like you can't trust yourself to make the right decisions anymore. It's embarrassing. It's bizarre, feeling the mixture of emotions. I felt so sad and lost, but I also felt incredibly hopeful and at peace.

Once you finally get a chance to wrap your mind around it all, you realize now you have to tell everyone. This was difficult for me, and I'm not sure I went about it the best way. In a perfect world, an announcement would be made, and life would just go on. But that would be much too simple. When the "simple" announcement turned into a circus of speculation and accusations, I tried very hard to maintain the mindset of "who cares, people will think what they want to think". My thought process was, if so called friends assume bad things about me, believe gossip, with no interest of hearing my side of the story.. Why should I care? They obviously were not good people to have in my life anyway.

I kept quiet for a long time. Feeling like I was above having to defend myself, why should I have to go around proving my side? That seemed desperate. Plus, I was a little busy dealing with the train wreck that had become my life to go around pleading my case. People chose a side. Oh well. People are saying the worst about me. Oh well. But it turns out, I am human. It still hurt my feelings, and it's just not fun being disliked. This is a nasty part of it all.  It seems inevitable that friends will choose sides, even if it's not on purpose.

That being said, I have to own my part in this. When you stay quiet, avoid everyone, do not confide in anyone, it will turn people off. They may find it suspicious, they may just think you don't find their friendship valuable enough to come to them when you are going through something difficult in your life. After all, that is what friends do, right?

I have always found this difficult. In all of my relationships. I am extremely introverted, I am extremely private, I am controlling, I don't ever want to surrender that power in the relationship that inevitably happens when you let someone know you are hurting, that you need their help. Vulnerability. A huge lesson for me.  Vulnerability is a must in all relationships. You can't not give yourself over and expect someone to do the same for you. You can't expect them to know something is wrong with you if you don't share!

A major flaw of mine, was being the tough guy. I don't need your help, I don't need your pity, I don't need you to be there for me. I'm strong and just fine without you. It's not fair to wake up one day, realize you're tired of always being strong, and that you need someone, and then being upset that no one is around. It took me 25 years to realize how important vulnerability is. The foundation on which you establish your relationship, the trust that develops, it all follows vulnerability.

So, I can't control what people think. But I also can't pretend that I helped the situation. I am thankful for the people who have known me for so long, and despite myself,  have been by my side every step. Encouraging me, rooting for me as I grow as a person, those friends and family have been invaluable to me. Seeing people genuinely happy for you, when you are genuinely happy, is the best feeling. I can't say enough about them and their support. A lesson: People are good, I have to allow them to be good to me!

A friend (who I have known nearly 15 years) recently told me "You're different Whitney, I don't know what it is. There's a spark there...and it's like you're...softer...if that makes sense. I can't put my finger on it, but it looks good on you, I'm so happy for you."
The walls are coming down, and other people are noticing.

I am doing the best I can, I am trying, I am human. I feel like I am exactly where I need to be. I am HAPPY, and I won't apologize for it.

To anyone who actually read all of this, Wow! I am impressed. I would have stopped a long time ago. Now that I feel better, and you are bored to tears, the blog can go back to being tasty recipes and cute pictures of my dog. From here on out, this will be a drama free blog :)

Intro to the blog!

Hello all!

Or maybe just, hello Nanny! (my likely only reader)
I am new to blogging. For now, it is simple and sad, but I am hoping with a little tlc, it can be all fancy-like, you know, like the ones you see on Pinterest.

I am in the process of deactivating my facebook account. I am ashamed to say I spend too much time on there, and feel a little bit "too connected", and let's just be honest it isn't what it used to be.
However, I would still like a way to update folks (Hezzie Mae) on my life and post cute pictures of my dog. So yeah, a blog.

A tidbit about the title. Our address is Beachview Drive, Ocean City. It just seemed appropriate.

I will be writing most posts, but Bryan will be writing as well.

At some point, I hope for it to be somewhat informative, including but not limited to: recipes we have tried, DIY projects for the home (because we are broke), tips on budgeting (because we are broke), health and fitness advice (because my man is a stud), basically anything else I find helpful in my own little world that I would like to share.

Let me just say, I am not a writer, I am a nurse. I do not have good grammar and I will likely not edit these posts. I will use too many parenthesis and quotation marks. I think my jokes are much funnier than they really are. So, just look over all of this, and try not to get too annoyed. My apologies in advance.